Oh, ya! I'm Possessive. So what?

Glassy eyes! Yes, they are glassy indeed. For they reflect her soul as if a mirror in place. They shine and glint. Her ears are soft and sharp. Her nose is straight. Her teeth white and bright! A little shrink of her cheek, give way to a cute dimple in them. She has a skin color which people call as ‘fair or creamy’. Her hair, wavy, reaches her mid-spine. Everything is so-perfect about her. She’s the living example of what people call as picture-perfect. She is everything – a normal person would forcefully portray in front of a camera (oh, yeah editing) sometimes, if not always. Yes, she is the perfect lively-picture captured by ‘Life’ for eternity.

Guys’ nature would make them turn their heads toward her. Girls’ nature would make them envy her inwardly.

Wondering, if such a girl really exist in this universe if not this planet? I would daringly say, YES! And this is the little story about her…which I got to share with her.

Before that, she also has all those humanly-emotions –hurt, pain sorrow! But then, what they can do to her, if she is capable of making friends with them too?!

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To the cutest girl I’ve ever known (Well, Barbie isn’t real unfortunately…)!

The first time I saw her, I just felt hatred. Pure hatred! Why? How on earth would I know that? Well, I just have a theory. She was all jovial and taking everything lightly (even the things I stare with wide eyes!). She had a million friends and a smile is all she gave. She was cute, but I hated her the most. The main part is here…she SCORED TOO-WELL!

According to the logical part of my brain, she could be a friend of mine…or an Enemy. Come on, she can’t be my friend. That’s what I thought. Well, how can you possibly imagine her (the cute and smart girl) being friend with me (the dumb and plain girl)? This made me hate her even more.

Is not there something (I don’t know what’s that something is!), which always makes the present – a magical-moment? Yeah, that something happened to us as well! That was one fine day. Some inter-school competition was going on; when we (XI standard girls) were stuffed up in the top floor of our school building (we call it, monkey-building as the monkeys reside there sometimes!).

I was really bad in Mathematics (In spite of a 99 in X). So, I was trying to untangle some of its mysteries. That was the moment. She came to my rescue. She helped me understand that lengthy-formulas (that’s how they call them!) without any difficulty. And I realized, ‘they aren’t mysteries after all!’.

She was magic. I hated her just a moment ago. And now she’s making me love her! Now I understood why everyone likes her so much.

That moment was enough for me tag along her…always. I know she hated me for that. What has been a hell before that moment, slowly turned into a heaven with all the brightness in the world. Who had been solitary-reaper became a gang-member (that was me).

I kept falling for her. Every single thing she did, had a touch of grace and happiness to it. If it’s legal for me to say, ‘I love her’; I would’ve said it at least thousand times a day.

Without even realizing it, I kept building a-possessive-space for her. That’s when things took a different turn. Yes, no story is complete without some dark spots! I wished to be with her always. I wanted her to be with me always. But she’s not mine. And yeah, no one can own her.

And one dark day, she left me all alone. Why? We never knew! She would read me and I would listen her. That’s how I learnt those wild subjects. She knew all that. Despite everything, she left me.

Nothing is same after that. I just spent the last of my school days, just to score. But the funny thing is here, we both got the same score ‘1111’. Fancy, isn’t it? I was over-joyous, just because me and my-love got the same marks (at least this!). Oh yeah, she dispersed it with a ‘oh. I got to apply for reevaluation!’. That was the end of the story.

Later, we met once or twice. Maybe even a couple of calls and emails exchanged. But, what’s broken is always broken (glue sticks won’t patch up everything).

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The days I had been with you. They had been a shortest days of my life, which I’m longing to live back again. But, shouldn’t love be two-way instead of one? Oh, I can never understand that.

Well!

You had been my best teacher Yoga master (not in Yoga of course!),

You made me feel happy cutie,

You did stir my heart, making me wonder, ‘can I be happy? I never knew that!’

It’s not a moment of war,

It’s not a moment of hatred,

It’s not even a moment of resistance!

Just a blank space of doubts!

You left me with them.

Now I’m alone and you seek me.

Why should I stop and listen,

When all I want is to forget that you exist?

I don’t hate you (‘coz hate’s love gone bad-way).

I just don’t care about you (just to save me a chance to weep).

I know you don’t understand any of this and any of me.

But still I hope…like a maniac.

I wish to say you adieu. Adieu for the one-way journey! Please don’t come back and start everything all over again. ‘Coz, I know I can’t let you go…when that is all you do!’

Broke, Sugan!

-Sp- 

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