Who am I? Why am I doing what I am doing? Am I doing
this ‘coz I ran out of choices and not because I love it? Why is this life
looking so challenging from where I stand? Is everybody like me, lost? Or is it
only me?
---
I have had these questions following every single
thing that I do in my life. And it took a while for me to understand that I do not
have to know the answer. Because, it is not one. And it cannot be found. Just like
‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’, the answer lies with the one who
seek it. And as far and wide as I have sought it, I came to this conclusion.
To that conclusion that we all are stardust! We have
been made from star and made to shine brighter and brighter. All that we do
teach something or the other to us. And every such learning brightens the aura
of the star that we have become. We are shed from those stars from the hearth
of the universe. And to that hearth we will return. And meanwhile, we should
shine brighter and light up the endless night.
---
In the past two months, I have learnt so much that I haven’t
in my whole life. I have always had the advantage of hiding inside my comfort
zone and not stepping out for once. But these last two months, so much have
changed. I have learnt about myself more.
Sow,
You have been a big part of it and I owe you some. From
the girl I thought you would be, you were so different and I, as always,
prejudiced. You are so much more than I thought you would be.
I don’t know what I would have done without you these
two hectic months. I thought I could take care of myself and handle situations
without making a mess. But no, I have been messy.
Words once said, can never be unsaid. I am so sorry
for saying what I said. And on that day, when you said, ‘I proved you wrong’, I
understood what determination is. You are amazing! Seriously, with that one
incident, you taught me that nothing is impossible and you can prove wrong
everyone who says otherwise of what you believe.
-
I always have been a castaway or I have made myself
so. You changed everything. The lonely hostel stay, you made it beautiful for
me. I am realizing how lonely it can be, now. Now that you are not here and it
is only me. Now, that I am walking alone with no one to hold my hands. Now,
that I am riding the buses alone and wide awake so I don’t miss the stop where I
should get down.
I love how you deal everything. In these two months,
we have learnt so much. And you have taught some more. Thanks to you. And I am
not bad; I just don’t know things like you do. ‘Coz it is all new. People, place…I never
had to face these all on my own. Everything was/is new.
I know you will shine bright wherever you go. Because you’re
this amazing stardust I got to know and be with.
Hostel is lonely now. And I miss you here. Suddenly it
feels like everything came to a standstill. But it is not. Life and time goes
on. So should we. And I will never forget what you gave me. And I am sorry
again. Love you, Sow! You always rock.
---
Remember one thing when you start to question
everything that you believe. Life is not a hurdle to cross. It is a canvas to
draw. Every step you take draws a new line with new color. And every color has
a story to tell and every story is worth creating.
Love,
-Sp-
💛💯
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