Blank Space!

He looked sideways at me. “Hi”, he said neutrally, dropping his head down as I went near. He was leaning on his bike with his hands in his pockets.

“Why the hell would you say a ‘hi’. Huh? When have you become so formal with me?” I asked raising my voice a bit.

He just looked at me – a single look with a bit of controlled-furiousness, a bit of helplessness, a bit of sarcasm and at last a bit of love. Yeah. He’s Aryan. I mean Aryan for everyone; and Aarvi for me. Only for me!

See, I’m not a talker, basically. I can’t handle silence. I could only cope and live with that. Having no idea what to do next, I just stared at him back.

“I’m waiting here for three hours” he said, looking straight at my eyes.

Now that’s a tough one. It felt like a confession of crime that I didn’t do. I averted my eyes to the ground.

“I told you to come at 11a.m. and not at 9. Yeah it’s 12 now, I know. I hoped you would come late. See, you know my situation. I’m not free enough to go wherever I like and whenever I like. I’m not like you.” I said in a small voice.

“Oh you hoped. You don’t understand me Ms. Rishita. Do you?”

He never called me Ms. Rishita. I was Ishu for him. He must be really angry. My mind kept throwing dialogs at me which would persuade him. But I lost the coordination between my words and thoughts. I kept staring down. My vision started to blur with tears. I didn’t know I was crying until he raised my face to wipe off my spilled-dignity.

“I just don’t know. Every…everything I think of, keeps going wrong. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.” I slurred and choked on my own words.

Well, now don’t think that I’m always this crying-sort-of girl. No. I could be quite a bomb of a girl when it comes down to dare my ego. But right then I felt hopeless. ‘Coz, I made mistake this time. And I can’t even explain my situation. I told you I wasn’t good with words. Didn’t I?

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t cry, baby.”

That touched my ego. “Don’t baby me!” I told brushing his hands off and furiously wiping my own eyes.

He smiled which elongated as a laugh.

“And don’t laugh at me like that.” I dared him.

“I planned not to talk with you at all. Why do you do this to me? I just forget everything when I see you. Just Boom!”

I can’t help but smile back. Within seconds, the war-ground vanished to be replaced as a paradise. And that’s the magic of our love.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try not to make you wait next time. Really sorry.” I said.

“Hope you remember it next time. Now shall we go?”

“Yeaaaaaaaaaah. Where to?”

“No idea. It’s midday and high sun and all. We can just ride around. When you got to get back?”

“At two?! I told Mom that, I’m gonna see Diya and be back at 2.”

“That’s fine. We got almost two hours. Um…so why were you late, actually?” he asked as he started his bike.

“It’s Diya’s mom. She asked me to eat and go. She made everything…for me. I just can’t say no. I’m sorry. Again.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I got you this.” I said giving him the ICone that I bought for him. “I thought you would be hungry”

He’s not an Ice cream sort of guy. But I trained him to eat ‘em, since I loved ‘em. You know, I thought there should be a harmony between everything I loved.

He sighed. “I just can’t understand you. You’re the one who’s gonna kill me I guess. Be it with your ignorance or this deadly innocence.” After a pause, he said “And that’s what making me love you even more.”

I sat behind him on his bike. “Um. I love you Aarvi!” and I hugged him tight.

And that was one of the most happiest days of my life.

---

Clang. Clang. Clang.

The ringing of midday food bell, revved me out of my daydreams. It’s always like this in an Asylum. A mental Asylum, technically. There is a preplanned time table for everything. But this is so different from those in my schools and college. This is a different sort of compulsion. Funnily enough, I’m being punctual now. Or being forced to!

In case if you’re wondering ‘what the heck has now happened?’ let me clear it for you. You might have just got caught in the middle of my past memories. Yes. PASSED MEMORIES. Oh, well, Aryan is no more MY Aarvi; though I still claim to be HIS Ishu.

“You’re not good enough for me, Rishita. I’m sorry, we took it this far. It’s not gonna work anymore.” He said when he left. I don’t know why he said that. I can’t even believe my own ears. Those words keep ringing in my ears like a terrible clang of this Asylum bell. I can’t stand it. I kept thinking of those days and his last words, which made me end up here.

“She’s not mentally stable. She needs treatment. Soon would she recover.” these doctors keep saying.

Little do they know that I’m dead inside?!

My mind time traveled again to the past…leaving me walking dead towards the queue, with my plate in my hands.

All that's left of reality is a BLANK SPACE!

---Sp---